Making a Commitment

Journal Entry #001 -- 3.20.07

It feels like I've done this about a million and one times before.
But it's yet to lead where it needs to.
So here's to a million and two.

I'm a Renaissance Man Artist
Whose always dabbled in many mediums
And loved the written word most

The power of story
Delivering message and meaning
Its my favorite thing about art, and its effect on humanity.

And delivering these messages
Was/Is something that has always been a talent for me.
But now...

now...
it feels like all that has changed
in these older days
where's theres so much more than
what sounds good when its heard
or left down on some page

In pursuing my dreams
Of movie making
I've gotten side tracked
From the original reason
Of creating an ideal reality--
And instead obsessing with all the technicalities.
Like film's immortality.

It's like
whereas it used to flow
Now I'm side tracked by how / when / where it will go

Obsessing on professionalism
Spelling and grammar check.
Overall impression
Organization and construction.



I guess I though I'd have made it further than this
In the past 22 years.
And although I've made it through a lot
And had tons of progress in several areas
By my immediate goals
Let alone my ultimate goals
Seem far too far away.

Which discourages more than just the artistic side
My mental and physical health in question
Feels like I'm not going anywhere with this
And it hurts my pride...

But that's the mistake
That lately all I do is make.
Being too concerned with the Destination
And forgetting the necessary steps in my Journey.
Something I want to remember
And need to remember to enjoy.

So with all that 'said'
I'm starting this blog with the hope of keeping up
Making a commitment to the progression of my self and my art
One journal entry a day
And a piece
No matter how great or small:
A free write, re-write, diagram -- anything.
Just something that shows myself I'm trying
And strengths the progress
Of a determined artist.
Trying to be
Something.

BtB.
written, not read / edited